Friday, March 17, 2017

Proving that Pink Floyd has no depth, Part One: Wish You Were Here

If you are a Pink Floyd fan, don't read this, I am only here to infuriate you and not to reason with you, I know I won't change your opinion and I don't care, I am here to digest some crap and just go ahead and insult me if you feel like it, I can't win, you can't win.

Anyways, Pink Floyd is regarded as THE rock band, the ones who pushed the genre to the skies and across the universe. The people who make these claims, by complete coincidence, also have never heard The Beatles, The Stooges, The Velvet Underground, Camel, Yes, or any other rock band for that matter. Also, by God's will, they are mostly underage and mediocre, yet they dress like hipsters. And I have no problems against someone who likes Pink Floyd, but every fan that I've met is only good for spamming every single top rock album vote with Pink Floyd entries and showing the's server bill up the asshole with stupid stuff like this:

What a complete fucking tool.

Luckily, this album has only five songs. Unluckily, two of them are longer than 10 minutes each.

I'll start with the worst, it is definitely "Welcome to the machine". The lyrics are a fancy way of saying "d govermeant is corupt, fug XDDD". The entire song has a psychedelic piano in the background, which is just not done right and tedious. I swear, the fucking vocalist is about to cum. He is so aroused by the thought that he is in a machine that his dick is spitting his future children on top of it. Back to the lyrics, which are unarguably the worst part, fans are trying to gauge one another's eyes out about what it means and can only settle for the fact that it's "open to interpretation" (unfinished). It also has the line "I can play guitar, suck my dick, I'll drive hot wheels faggot.", pronounced differently, but meaning the same.

"Have a cigar" is a mighty second, which is the band's expression of next level narcissism. They are so fucking full of themselves that they had the courtesy to write a song about how they haven't sold out. The way the lyrics are sung and when they are being sung has no reason, the first line is the worst, it just says "Come here boy, have a cigar, you're gonna go far" in the most random rhythm. Oh, but it has a synthesizer occasionally playing chords in the background, so it's deep.

"Shine on you crazy diamond" is over 26 minutes, so it is automatically deep. No arguments. Yea, another song that fails miserably at having progression or a route and becomes just random mediocre solo showdown without having the relaxing effects of regular jazz music. Turn it off, throw the CD out of the window and pop in fucking Lady Fantasy, you'll see the difference right away. This one is split into "parts", about 13 of them, I don't know, and it counts for two songs on a regular CD, giving it even more deep meaning.

"Wish you were here" is the best song on the album. Why? Because it's what Pink Floyd is, another disposable rock band with just one classic song and a discography of shit. It's main saver is that it didn't try to create some super depth like the other piles of garbage, it's an acoustic guitar with four chords repeating and a simple solo, and that is all a band like this needs to be. Just like Spin Doctors' Two Princes, it's simple, but very enjoyable. Not as good, though.

The main reason I hate this album is that it's so damn mediocre I barely have any legitimate arguments against it. It's like trying to argue against a fucking Ed Sheran song, you can't disprove anything, it's a disposable pile of crap, with an extra bonus of being guarded by tens of thousands of completely musically uneducated fanretards. Fuck your pseudo-progressive bullshit.

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